I grew up in central Oahu on the top of a mountain called Saint Louis Heights.  We were surrounded by a public park on one side and a 'wild' forest on the other.  We lived on an acre of property where my grandparents, mom and dad, and two uncles and aunts had adjacent homes - four in total.  As for the children, there were nine cousins including my siblings and myself all within a 10 year age span. 

Back when we grew up in the 60's to early 70's, we children did not have a single worry with regards to our personal safety.  Back in the good old days, no one worried about strangers abducting children so we played from dawn to dusk without parental supervision or a care in the world.  Our accountability to checking-in with our parents was simply to show up at meal-times.  I always knew that my mother would have a great warm meal for me.  In addition to warm food in my stomach I was showered with lots of love, from both parents.

As I look back upon my upbringing, I am filled with fond memories of a fairy-tale childhood.  My parents did their very best to raise me morally and physically as healthfully as any parents lovingly could have.  I use healthfully, however, in very loose terms because of the following revelations I now have as a mature health care professional...

1. My parents + the school system (teachers and peers) influenced me morally and socially

2. School lunches / snacks + my mother (the cook of the house) was responsible for my nutrition or 'lack' of nutrition.

3. My fitness was influenced by both aforementioned parties and any outside sports, leagues or activities.  (Thank God I was extremely active)

Let's first look at how the influences of my childhood molded me and discuss the ramifications of what it produced back in my childhood days and then fast forward to today's upbringing and the fruit it is bearing in the children of today.

I grew up in a very strict private high school where discipline for wrong or inappropriate moral behavior was enforced.  We got picked up by our ears, did pushups, detention (pulling weeds) or sitting doing homework instead of play-time for misbehaving.  Swearing, profanity, or disrespect was not allowed in my home or at school.  My moral character was sharply and definitively molded from these two powerful influential factors from my upbringing. 

The major lesson I learned; a humble respect for others especially those in authority over me, and not to mention...good manners as a bonus.

In comparison to the children of the modern technological world, there is an extremely distinct difference in the way children are being raised compared to yesteryear.  As a result of our modern culture being paralyzed by perilous legal consequences, teachers are cautious at best as to what they say and do to discipline children in schools today.  Modern culture, for the majority of parents have predicated the lack of parental influence.  In order to form strong loving bonds with children, TIME spent with them is the first order of priority.  Children need to learn difficult lessons that only a parent can teach through loving discipline to mold their moral character.  Lessons like restraint, values, honesty, generosity, respect, honor, the value of money, etc.  However, an observation that I see is in fact, parents shying away from loving discipline in order to avoid being tagged the "Bad Guy" with what little time is spent with their children.

So where are our children learning lessons like respecting others especially those in authority and all the above mentioned ones and more?  TV and all available media, the web, ipods, facebook, etc...

Proverbs 13:24 says, "He who spares his rod hates his son, But he who loves him disciplines him promptly.

The reason for the above scripture or blog is not a cry for today's culture to bring back spanking by any means, however, it is a very loud cry and deep concern for those privileged to be called parents to lovingly teach our kids all of life's important lessons  As a parent of two incredible kids, I count it an honor to discipline my children.  I have the sold out belief that discipline through love is what will make my children grow up to have an others first attitude and at the very least they'll respect others. 

A wonderful suggestion that was given to me regarding the upbringing of my children is one that I would like to pass on to those who have KIDS...  Imagine your child as a 30 year old adult with all the traits and qualities you wish them to have (mannerisms, values, demeanor, attitude, etc.)  In addition to the traits and qualities, how do you see them living and who you see them living with?  In as much detail as possible, visioneer your ideal son or daughter and write it down.  After you write it down, create an action plan as to how you will create the ideal son or daughter you see from the child you currently have.  Oh and by the way, it always helps when you pray and ask GOD to help mold your kids for you too!

God Bless You,

Dr. Bruce Wong