Tonight the Tribe gathered around the flat-screen. We were watching the New England Patriots rout the Tennessee Titans in white-out blizzard conditions in October. The same group that had originally planned to travel down to Foxborough to be at the game was now weathering the storm in front of the fireplace eating homemade chili instead. Life is good.

This group is made up of the type of friends that fight for air-time telling stories, laughter drowns out the din of the kids’ ruckus and time is just lost in its purity. This is fellowship.

We are social animals. We are drawn to others, groups and gatherings like moths to a street lamp. We have an innate need to connect, to share and to be accepted. Coiled deep within our genome lives the predilection to commune with like others. We want to give, take and share. We are driven to socialize – as if our lives depended on it - because, in fact, it once did.

All human wants and behaviors can be reduced down to 2 fundamental lowest common denominators. Every natural drive that we have today reflects a trait that somehow conferred either a reproductive or survival advantage to our ancestors. Our need to belong to a Tribe is certainly one of these.

The Tribe provided support, protection and relations. The free exchange of resources was the impetus for the birth of the village and the glue that held it together. The union of skills, strengths and abilities had a multiplicative quality that defies inductive calculation. The whole is much more than the sum of the parts. Each being brought their essence to the group and breathed an immeasurable spirit into the collective. Individuals shaped groups and groups shaped individuals.

The spoken word was the lubricant of socialization. The ability to recount facts, share vital information and to learn from others was the foundation of the tribal connection. Story telling was one of the most critical survival elements. Sharing stories multiplied everyone’s experience. By simply listening to the tribal elders, hunters or warriors one could benefit from their predecessors’ adventures, successes and failures. Back in the day, you’d get a lot of mileage out of sound advice like: “Fish over there”, “Don’t eat those berries” or “Stay away from that bear cave”.

Today the ability to communicate may still convey a reproductive advantage, but historically, it meant life and death.

We’ve moved into the cities and suburbs and out of the villages. We feel crowded, yet alone. Technology has allowed us to become “connected” – at the price of being disconnected. Our needs are subordinate to our schedules and structure. We are busier and busier each day and make choices based on scarcity not priority. We are left with deficiencies in all lifestyle domains – especially this one.

Deficiencies create stress. Stress creates adaptation, then fatigue and then failure.

We must seek opportunities to fulfill our innate needs and deliberately fill them. In our unnatural, modern and mechanized lives we have become dangerously independent. Yes, we can now outsource nearly everything and survive – but thrive? At the expense of sufficiency we now seek efficiency. This leads to deficits that must be reconciled.

In the interest of happiness, health and well-being, we must choose to supplement our disconnected lifestyles. As much as a multi-vitamin fills in the nutritional blanks in our diet-style or the treadmill supplements our relatively sedentary existence – our social lives must provide the essential elements missing from life outside the village. So by all means, give, love and share.

As the night came to an end, it was obvious that the kids were happy and content and the adults were relaxed and satisfied. Not just because of the Patriots’ big win, or the fantastic homemade chili, but because we felt fulfilled. We had satiated a need that quietly tugs inside of all of us, genuine fellowship.

Now go spend time together,

Doc